The Blinds and the Hyperfocus
Day One
Tired, not like after a 12-hour shift, but heavy and tired from the inside out. Tired from figuring out the shit that keeps flying from all possible wind directions. Something is wrong with this world and with all the terms. From the beginning, there has been some issue with understanding.
Do you know what ‘Honey Pot’ is? Nice.
And what is a ‘Honey Wagon’? Haha, I thought so.
Not everything is honey that sounds like it. But this article isn’t about the honey, nor about bees, but about life and how I handle it.
Something is missing, like in a DIY kit without a manual and a few missing components. The delivery was alright, but I lost the bits along the way. I looked online for substitutes but could not find them in any shop. I could visit Japan right now in the hope of finding them there.
The parcel arrived on time and in perfect condition; no complaints from my side. I can remember exactly the day I lost the first bit.
Tick-tock, tick-tock. I was only about two years old, give or take a few months. The massive grandfather clock from my grandfather was already annoying me. The ticking noise filled the whole four-bedroom apartment. It may have been five bedrooms. I can’t remember anymore.
But what I remember is my great-grandmother lying alone in bed in one of the smaller bedrooms. Every hour, the grandfather clock struck. No one could miss it. And yet, the next morning she didn’t notice the ticking clock. This was the first time that my DIY kit lost a part.
A few days later, the whole family and some strangers I had never seen before were standing on a hill. The big bell from the church went off, and everyone was crying. I was small at that time. The smallest one.
You may ask. Are you from Japan?
No, I’m not.
Why do you want to look for it in Japan, then?
I look for substitutes, not for the original parts. Distraction. Distraction is a perfect substitute for the bits that will never be found again.
Why did I come up with that as my first article?
Rainy days often take me right back to where I come from.
I have got six months to bridge. A whole six months to achieve my dream and not to die of boredom before. After lots of sleeping, I come to the conclusion that this will not work to sleep through the whole six months. I needed plan B, and so I came up with the idea to add writing and hiking. I need to save up for my camera that I have wanted so badly for such a long time. The damn AuDHD always finds side ideas and get lost, distracted and forgets about only to come back to it when the cash is low. Not me but the AuDHD can’t keep the money and keeps spending. Side hustle after breadless side hustle and this pattern keeps repeating. The camera is stuck in my head like a brick attached with some good quality mortar. This time I will not get distracted. Not a chance. I will keep writing about every single day to keep me focused only on one thing. To get the camera. This is the battlefield, even as I call the outpost. I can sleep with hyperfocus enabled. I can go for a hike and come back but this is more risky. The sole purpose of the writing is to fix the issue and to keep the hyperfocus on the camera.
If you’re still here, that’s amazing. I didn’t expect anyone to come this far. Thank you for reading and for your time.
I began writing, even though the space is crowded. Honestly, I don’t mind because I have other goals. The camera.